Self-Esteem

In September 2009 my friend Quinn and I listed all of my extra-curricular activities, including boards I sat on, events I co-chaired, campaigns I worked on, etc. There were 14 things on the list at that time and I was burnt out. Over 2010 I’ve worked hard to make good on what I’d committed to, all the while checking off the list and I’m blissfully at 2 as of today. I’ve already signed up for a couple of new positions in 2011, but I’ve made a promise to myself that from now on I’ll never do more than 5 so that I can focus on my family, friends and other priorities at all times.

And one of those priorities, as you all know, is my health. I was reading an article last week about exercise and weight. It said that maintaining a healthy weight through exercise actually helps our brains and memories retain and make decisions. Additionally, the more extra weight we carry not only weighs down our bodies but also weighs down our ability to be quick on our feet mentally.

Last week I also had a conversation with a person in the industry for whom I have great respect. He was commenting on my ability to retain information and said “Just wait 15 years…it’ll change.” I know he was joking (kind of) but that jolted me.

My self-esteem isn’t tied to how I look, my ability to run a 10-minute-mile, or how much I make. It’s tied to how well I do my job. I don’t know if that makes me odd, but for me it’s all about excelling professionally. All of those other things are good and can make me happy, but the bottom line is that when a grower tells me they feel I’m representing them well on an issue or a shipper calls me because they know I can get them the answer they need I FEEL GREAT. The idea that I may not have the ability to remember, retain, and basically keep on my toes in 15 years scares me.

What I’m getting at here is that I now have another reason to be healthy. And I’m realizing that by becoming healthier I may be better at my job not only 15 years from now, but today. That, coupled with being the best mommy I can be, is what my self-esteem is tied to, what gets me up in the morning, what makes me feel good about myself. I now have another reason to make sure I get to the Y, or take Olivia for a walk every day. Doing so makes me better at everything that’s important to me.